“No cilantro, please” – September 2016

Last night, I spent 8 hours fixing a ton of broken content on this website (which also meant that all my other evening plans fell through). In that process, I stumbled on my old series of “monthly diary with bits and pieces that are usually completely out of context” again – and noticed that a month had just passed. So I thought I might as well write one.

I found

  • Roses

I wrote


I said

  • “No cilantro, please.” (I still got cilantro.)
  • “I am SO going to endorse you on Linkedin!” (Never happened.)
  • “You do not ‘yo’ me. I am not a ‘yo’ person.”

I was

  • At a conference
  • Happy
  • Nervous
  • Desperate
  • Sad
  • Alone
  • Excited
  • With my favourite humans


I did (1)

  • Carry boxes (and furniture)
  • Carry a couch all by myself (it was a super light couch, but don’t tell anyone; I looked super cool and super strong carrying that thing just myself)
  • Dye my hair green (only temporarily though)
  • Throw a keynote that was ready completely out of the window, and started writing it all from scratch – two weeks before the conference date
  • Walk around nervously in circles
  • Try purple eyeshadow (and liked it)
  • Keynote View Source Conf Berlin


I did (2)

  • See the fireworks
  • Have celebratory pizza
  • Take a post-conference-recovery-day off (and thank past-me for it)
  • Get new glasses
  • Get a massage
  • Lose the sad puppy eyes
  • Get two proposals (yes, there’s more to these stories; no, I won’t tell; no, I’m not getting married)
  • Meet someone I haven’t seen in 3 years
  • Watch a movie
  • Find the perfect summer outfit. On the last day of summer.
  • Get a free pain au chocolat (which was then stolen by a gang of sparrows gone wild).
  • Carry a pizza box
  • Make a choice


I did…, although it was a bad idea

  • Start always having two cups of coffee on my desk, to ensure a stable, interruption-free supply chain. (It sounded like a good idea.)

I had

  • Coffee
  • Coffee
  • Coffee
  • Kombucha
  • Späti Coffee (and it wasn’t as bad as it sounds)

I realised

  • In how many ways writing is a craft – and can sometimes feel like almost manual labour.

I read


I heard

  • “I have finally understood your life strategy: for every non-coffee thing, you have to do a coffee thing.”
  • “This looks SO romantic!” (it wasn’t)
  • “I brought you a gift!” (One of my all-time favourite sentences.)
  • “I’ve never seen you so relaxed at a conference during daytime.” (I never was so relaxed at a conference during daytime.)

I listened to

  • Girls in Hawaii – Misses
  • Ravens & Chimes – Division Street
  • Heifervescent – Deep Sea Diver
  • Santigold – Disparate Youth
  • Creedence Clearwater Revival – Have you ever seen the rain (that’s another story for another time)

I thought

  • “So this is goodbye.”
  • About mutual fangirling
  • About learning and pain
  • About familiarness, and how it sometimes never completely fades; and how gestures, motions, sounds
  • “I wish it were Friday night already.”


Categorised as berlin

By Lena

Fast walker, avid reader, poetry fan, public speaker, violinist, pianist in the making, intersectional feminist. Works in tech, writes about anything here (and less frequently than in the past).


  1. Thank you.
    I for one liked it a lot.
    Also, thank you for not getting married. Horrible custom, and one I am very personally predisposed against right now especially.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *